Chiropractor's wife!

Chiropractor's wife!
Have Curves In All The Right Places?

Monday, August 10, 2015

The Separated Chiropractor's Wife

When I started this blog it was truly because I needed somewhere to share what we were going through. Had we been in a financial position to send me to a therapist I would have coped that way. Like a series of cards with a stick figure running from a bear flipping along, the culmination of the entire journey flashes through my mind in an instant. Here we are with over thirteen years of marriage with unbelieveable perserverance to reflect on. I regret to tell you that as of July 8th this year, I have maintained my own residence and labeled our relationship status as "SEPARATED".....



I can blame Chiropractic. I can blame success. I can blame many things but the truth is there is nothing to blame. There is no good explaination as to why I asked for a seperation except for the fact that I was tired of the story I was in and was in a position to change it. This unpopular act is aligned with the greater good of mankind. Already my husband and I have been able to share in the child care equally and have equal amounts of solitude to do with as we please. I have a stack of books to catch up on and write. I have a career that I enjoy and love to focus on. Life is abundant and continues to be interesting and fabulous for us.

There is no prize for standing by my husband's side through the hard times. There is no ribbon for longevity in marriage. There is only the satisfaction to boast that you did it for however long you do it. The testimate to the quality and perfection that was our marriage is built within it. It is reflected in the quality of our lives and the perfection of our children.

As he and I transition from the title of "Wife" and "Husband" to "Babies Momma" and "Babies Daddy" we remain friends and allies. I am still a resource for any and all things Chiropractic professional support and maintain that it is a field that should just be avoided. Even under the most funded and ideal scenerios, you are looking at a very physically demanding job that ties you to clinical hours that make for a very demanding reality. In my opininon it is not worth the trouble. I feel that way about many professions. There is unprecidented dysfunction in agriculture, healthcare, education, and big pharma these days. It is a run away train! One can merely enjoy the ride!

If and when we ever go through the big "D" and I don't mean "Dallas"... I will let you know and change the name of this blog to, "The Chiropractors Ex-Wife" Which may actually increase my following as there are probably SOOOOOOOO MANY!!

22 comments:

  1. I have avoided marriage and kids as a chiro bc i saw the same thing happening to all my peers. Serial monogamy is a great thing! Enjoy divorce and run too it. Start fresh for both of you and enjoy a new life for each other.

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  2. I think it was selfish of you to ask you husband to quit his teaching job for your insurance career and then to leave him soon after.

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    1. I think your thoughts on the matter are beautiful. I have never heard him complain about being left. He's not a victim. He supports me in my journey as I have supported him in his journey.

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  4. I'm sorry to read this. I've followed this blog for 2 years now and can definitely relate to your writings.

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  5. I am sorry to hear about your separation, but it was necessary. I wished your blog could have been turned into something to help drive the profession to improve: chiropractic care still does do a lot of good for people. Unfortunately, anti-chiropractic folks that are very one-sided like Stephen Barrett will try to use your blog as another resource to cite for discrediting the profession as a whole; part of his continuing crusade against chiropractic care. Objectively, chiropractic can be a wonderful thing to help others. It is not the care that is bad, it is the people that are in charge. Chiropractic as a profession has a lot of leadership problems. But there is always hope. In having one's heart in the right place, making dedication to helpings others, and diligence in continuing to learn from others, even the once thought to be incompetent chiropractor could learn to better themselves and to provide the best appropriate care possible. Thank you for starting the blog to share a part of your life journey and its experience. I will pray that both of you continue to grow.

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  6. I just stumbled across your blog and at times felt like I was reading my own journal! I'm a fellow (current) Chiro wife and can relate to many of the same experiences encountered through this Chiropractic journey.

    Sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like you are finding some peace with the situation and will come out with flying colors. Just be sure to keep writing as our outlet!

    I'll be sure to follow your blog and you can also find me at www.lovepeaceandtinyfeet.com.

    Good luck!

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    1. Ha ha!! I love it! Thank you so much. I remember I had no choice but to tell the world, the best I can, to avoid going in to a profession riddled with scams, debt, struggle, physical assertion, and all the rest of it. I am a fan!

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  8. Thank you Sophia for sharing your story to us. All of us has own battle in life to face on. I'm glad to know that you equally divide the responsibility for your kids. The things happen for a reason. Stay positive.

    Chiropractors in Overland Park, KS

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  9. It is a awesome Post.
    Valuable Information is here.
    Thanks for sharing with us.
    Henderson chiropractor

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  10. It is unfortunate to hear about your separation and I wish you both well. The truth is that Chiropractic is only one factor and there is likely another more important underlying issue which drove your decision to separate. While us readers can only speculate; the truth is that in any marriage (no matter which profession you choose) you must be prepared to weather the unknown. In fact this is true about life itself as a married couple. As a partner you must be willing to fight together through all of the unknowns including tremendously difficult career and financial struggles, debt, external pressures and sometimes even life changing health events. And it won't be easy. You will be angry, you will have regret and you will feel deflated. But in the end you must continue to brainstorm together and fight together to push forward.

    I am also a wife of a Chiropractor and can relate with so many of your posts. I have visions of my husband leaving day after day (for 12 hour workdays) while I was calming my screaming infant. And in my mind I wondered "Is he going to make any money today". I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. But the truth is as many have posted here before....business struggles are business struggles. And the struggle is part of any profession. Chiropractors are alternative medicine practitioners who are also entrepreneurs, and strong business skills are essential as they cannot fall back on a medical system for support. Entrepreneurs must be creative, cut throat, have thick skin, and be ready to weather all the ups and downs. Sounds like marriage doesn't it.

    Both my husband and I have very successful careers and for him Chiropractic had presented many bumps, twists and turns. He is now very succuessful, but it certainly did not go without hard work, sleepless nights, and relentless determination to stay the course and continue to do what makes him happiest. The last part is what is most important, be happy in whatever it is that you decide to do because it will take hard work and determination to be succuessful. We have the scars from weathering the challenges and in truth so many of my girlfriends have similar scars from weathering issues in their own marriages with their own partners career issues. Your blog is great, and thank you for highlighting the struggle of being a Chiropractors wife....while really just showing us that being a wife or partner requires tremendous strength, no matter what the circumstances are.

    I look forward to following you because I really enjoy your forum and send you nothing but positive energy as you move forward.

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    1. Thank you dear. I was behind moderating these comments. I get a lot of spam for practice management and loans. What a lovely comment. I am humbled that you have read anything I have written and can add to it.

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  11. Unfortunately they do not tell you how physically demanding chiropractic is. Nor do they teach you how to run an office successfully. I see so many ads, etc for management companies or seminars on how to be successful in practice. I love chiropractic but have had to take a job in order to pay the bills.
    I wish you luck in your future.

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  13. I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. I wish you both the best. There are so many times I've wanted to leave my husband because of his career (chiropractic). I go through this battle of morals everytime - marriage is supposed to be through thick and thin. Am I being selfish if I leave him? How do I know when enough is enough?
    I've tried looking for a different job for him but he keeps saying he doesn't qualify and his undergrad degree (biology) is useless. If he's to change careers he would have to get more degree(s) and he can't get anymore loans nor can we afford to pay out of pocket. The struggles of a chiropractor's wife.
    He's finally at a semi good practice and he's working his way to becoming partner to full ownership. However, the practice has been declining and I'm worried, again. I'm trying to be positive but that's challenging to do.
    Thank you for starting this blog and again, the best to you both.

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    1. It's a struggle. You aren't alone. Keep staying positive until the clouds clear. If you stay put and in a negative rut the fog never clears. Move, explore, seek, stay open minded, follow your heart and opportunities break through like the sun.

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    2. It's a struggle. You aren't alone. Keep staying positive until the clouds clear. If you stay put and in a negative rut the fog never clears. Move, explore, seek, stay open minded, follow your heart and opportunities break through like the sun.

      Delete
  14. Sorry about your D-I-V-O-R-C-E its never easy. I am a DC getting divorced from my wife, transitioning into friends.

    I started school thinking I would be making great money a few years out, never happened. I have had some good associate positions, but never enough to pay student loans and live. ( First associate job we were on food stamps... but I was sure as hell dressed for success--required to wear dress clothes and a tie. Making relative crap hearing about clinic owners trips and his 200k RV while we struggled to pay mortgage, electric, car insurance etc)

    Financial pressures will kill any relationship, and exacerbate any other problems beyond belief. I see my patients, my friends and family members making a lot more than me, getting paid vacation, have health insurance etc.. its very disheartening. a manager of a Wawa ( conveneince store) can make more than I do at a integrative practice... I would demand more at contract renegotiation but I know that they would just hire some new DC for 10k less than they pay me.( please no admonitions of how I need to work harder, just have a positive attitude, get more patients etc) I did not come into this field to be a "salesman" or an "ambulance chaser". The people I graduated from chiro school with who are successful( or at least say they are) are either legacy chiro taking over a practice from a parent or other family member, had money to begin with or are gifted salespeople. I would have been better off financially staying in banking... now my credit sucks, cant get a job in finance at all. So I will trudge along making the same as a midlevel manager at a call center.

    That being said I wish you and your ex the best. I know my ex and I get along better now we are divorced and we are better parents to our kids

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